What is this thing? Radioactive embers??

Likely our most dramatic entry to date, this gorgeous cube is a limited edition item that will never be mass-produced for a number of reasons, not least of which is its inherent danger and iffy legality: it’s wildly flammable. While perfectly harmless and docile inside its glass tube were it to somehow break and air rush in, well, you better have a pail of water handy! Unlike its cousin match-heads, this brand of phosphorus is happy to combust without the aid of a little heat created from friction first. All it needs is atmospheric oxygen to make a runaway reaction that happens so quickly that it ignites.

Pity that something so utterly beautiful (it looks downright yummy, like a gummy bear!) should be so lethal. It isn’t just its innate tendency to want to turn itself and potentially everything around it on fire but also a deadly poison in its own right. When ingested, often seen in cases of attempted suicide, this form of phosphorus overloads the body’s ability to produce adenosine triphosphate. ATP is one of the most important molecules in living organisms as it serves as the backbone of cellular communication and is a building block of DNA. As the word implies, that triphosphate requires a bit of this element. Dump a truckload into the bloodstream and none can be made at all which basically shuts down the entire body as a result.

If you’re the type who’s comfortable keeping rat poison under the kitchen sink then you should be okay with owning this unusual offering. If not, then may we direct you to the other two types of phosphorus cubes for sale. Realistically, there’s relatively little danger considering the low density of the cube and the sturdiness of the glass would prevent any but the most careless from breaking it but all the same it behooves us to give ample warning to dissuade the casual shopper - especially in homes with small children. It is emphatically not a toy.

Sorry, sold out in less than 48 hours after going on sale… and likely discontinued for good :’-(