Do you roll your eyes when you see websites that rhetorically ask in their FAQ page questions like "Why does your company consistently deliver such superior service?" Here's answers to some actual frequently asked questions.

Don't see your question listed here? Email questions@luciteria.com


My order seems to be stuck in transit

According to the United Postal Union the USPS is ranked 7th worldwide in terms of reliability. That’s impressive. Less impressive is trying to reach their customer service to find out any information regarding your package’s whereabouts. You don’t want to call the USPS, trust me. The experience is scientifically designed to frustrate you and make you irrationally angry, and possibly send you to long-term therapy even. No matter what the problem is they will not offer you any type of personalized service or information beyond what is already visible in the tracking link.

Speaking of that tracking, for international orders, when you see something similar to this:

February 18, 2021, 12:00 pm
Processed Through Regional Facility
SAN FRANCISCO CA INTERNATIONAL DISTRIBUTION CENTER

It’s not stuck there. It means that this is the scan prior to boarding a plane leaving to your country. Unless you heard in the news of a plane crash assume that it has arrived but just hasn’t cleared customs yet. You should call your local postal office to receive an update. Do not call USPS. After being on hold for 16.5 hours you will just hear the maniacal laughter of a postal robot mocking you. Do you want to ruin your day?


The most frequently asked question we get is whether we can make a custom item. The answer is yes… usually. Our company is actually just an office with mostly office-type equipment. The cubes, the display cases and that thing you’re thinking about are all made overseas (China, mostly).

When we want to add a new product to our lineup the project starts out as a simple email to one of these suppliers where we submit the idea and they respond with an analysis of the costs and time required to make it. That first round yields a prototype that is much higher in cost than what the price of the units will be once the production run is underway. This is because the manufacturer has to assign the task of making it to an engineer who most likely will have to personally work with the material usually involving many separate steps to finish the product. Only after the prototype is approved does the lab or factory then design a workflow to ramp up production to make many of those units in a streamlined fashion which is where the savings come in.

Note that this means that as a one-off, your custom order is always going to be stuck in the initial stage of the process that is the most expensive. You will bear the prototyping fees and the long wait and even the risk that it may not be to your liking without recourse of a refund. For our part we can tell you from experience what the costs and time to manufacture will be as well as our guess on how feasible your project is but it’s up to you whether you want to go through with it given the costs and risks involved.

Can you make for me...?


Can you sell to my country?

We send orders all over the world. Literally. We have successfully sent orders to dozens of countries since our start back in 2015 and most likely have already sent items to someone who lives near you. Now let’s go over the trouble spots:

Orders to Eastern Europe, Latin America, Africa, India and Indonesia must go via UPS or DHL. This is because first class mail deliveries will most likely never reach their destination or if they do take many weeks to get there.

Really sorry but orders can’t be sent to China at all 对不起.


So how much does it cost to ABC to XYZ?

No idea. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Let the website figure it out. Just add stuff to the cart and then go to the checkout. It will give you the full costs prior to finalizing payment.


Can you give me a discount?

No.


In most cases Luciteria will not be able to buy your items and if we can offer a price it will likely not be very good. Why? Well, first of all we are a small company that, when it comes down to it, is in the import/export business. We buy materials from laboratories and factories which guarantee the purity of the elements they’re selling to us. When we buy from the public however we have to figure out what the purity is ourselves before we can sell it. Which is a problem when you don’t have sophisticated lab equipment like mass spectrometers, gas chromatographs and the like. We would need to take what you send us and turn around and send it out to a lab for analysis. In most cases this is unprofitable for small amounts of material.

The exception might be precious metals and other valuable samples but… in this case we’re honestly no better off for you than you just going to your local pawn shop.

Oh, and definitely no mercury.

Pssst… wanna buy my mercury?


Yeah, not gonna lie. Measured that way your bullion investments through Luciteria will return awful dividends.

The thing to remember is that in the making of the cubes (or most other items) the cost of the underlying metal is only part of what goes into the final cost of the piece. Just as you don’t buy jewelry by weight the same applies here. Whereas a machine can spit out finished objects at very low cost, the making of the cubes involves many steps involving several different workers.

Hey I just checked the spot price and your gold cube is a ripoff


No, sorry. Our office is located in an office building with a secured entrance not open to the general public except by appointment. You’re not missing much to be honest. Just about everything we sell on the site comes to us from overseas labs pre-packaged and is stored in bins and shelves for easy shipping rather than showcasing. We did consider having a retail front but the permits and insurance are a headache so leaving this for some future date to consider.

Do you have a physical store I can come in and browse?


Yes. If the item is still showing on the website it hasn’t been discontinued and we mean to replenish it. It’s just that, to be honest, we suck at keeping appropriate stock levels. The minute something is sold out an email is generated then someone (ahem, me) reads it and says “wooops, how’d that happen?” and an order is immediately sent to the supplier to please rush more sooner-than-asap.

I want to buy something but it’s showing out of stock. Will it be available again?


Your order will not come with a paper certificate showing a compositional analysis, only a label identifying the element (and purity on >1g samples). I like to warn customers who ask for a certificate something that seems common sensical: you know it’s just a piece of paper, right? An official looking certificate can be made in Word in, oh, about five minutes one handed while drinking coffee. The only COA you should trust is the one provided not by the seller but by an independent lab.

However, we get it. It’s not practical to send your ten grams of whatever to a lab for analysis since it will likely cost you more than the sample you bought many times over. But hey it’s your moolah. Upon request we can give you a screenshot from our analyzer proving the purity of most metals. We can also do the same for a sample you bought elsewhere - turning us into that independent lab by the way - for a nominal cost. X-ray fluorescence spectroscopy (XRF) cannot test low density elements but is an excellent tool for checking out the purity of alloys and pure elements from the meaty middle of the Periodic Table.

Can you provide a certificate of analysis?


Currently, for Washington state and California the answer is yes. Other states may or may not according to rules imposed on the payment gateway. We’re not aware of the rates or even whether they’re imposed or not because it happens earlier in the payment process than we have anything to do with.

For international orders we do not charge any taxes, duties or VAT. These are assessed at the point of entry at your destination and happens haphazardly. We can - and do - typically lower the declared value for these orders to both help avoid attracting the wrong kind of interest in transit as well as to (hopefully) minimize the payment amount demanded by your postal carrier at the time of delivery. If you have a particularly difficult time with your customs officials you’re welcome to reach out to us to review options but remember this is something that is ultimately out of our control.

Are taxes/VAT included?


I bought a cube but it’s below target weight. What gives?

This is a problem that is especially evident in the following metals: tungsten, rhenium, ruthenium, iridium and osmium. The reason is the manufacturing method. Since all of these have a melting point above what an industrial furnace can achieve instead of melting they are sintered. This is a metallurgical process that takes metal powder and heats it while simultaneously applying great pressure. The combined effect of heating and compression result in the internal structure effectively welding itself together to form what is visibly a solid metal. Microscopic analysis, however, reveals the interior to contain many small air pockets. Those air pockets make up anywhere from 1-5% of the whole lowering the apparent density by that amount.

The only process that can melt these metals to form a true solid is to put them in a vacuum furnace which passes a current through the powder, creating resistance. Like the heating elements in a toaster, give it enough juice and the resistance increases the heat to the point it can melt through pretty much anything while the vacuum prevents the subject sample from oxidizing or chemically reacting with anything else. The result is a puddle which forms the familiar beads once cooled. However, you cannot form a perfectly geometrical cube this way. Unfortuantely, even if you could somehow make a giant puddle with inside dimensions big enough that you could carve out a fully sized cube from this is still not possible because all of these metals lack ductility. That is, as soon as you attempt to cut the piece will shatter. Very naughty of them.


I want to buy osmium but am concerned about its toxicity.

Don’t be. Osmium as a solid metal poses no danger at all. It can be handled, worn, licked even. The concern arises when the metal is turned into powder; which is the case as offered for industrial applications. This is because the tiny dust-sized grains are susceptible to oxidation, especially when heated. Oxidized osmium forms into a feared poison, osmium tetroxide, which can, if you’re unlucky enough to get it into your eyes, permanently blind you. So it’s no joke. That being said, osmium in solid form will not oxidize unless you heat it with a blowtorch to cherry red. You’re not going to do this, right? Promise? Ok then. We’re good.


Can you specify which isotope is in element XYZ?

With the exception of our radioactive samples, all the elements we provide come in the same ratios as found in nature. Isolating specific isotopes is beyond the scope of what an ordinary laboratory or refiner can accomplish. This is a process that requires high speed centrifuges and is prohibitively expensive and difficult. So much so that it’s beyond the capabilities of even government-run labs. To list the most high profile example, Iran has invested billions of dollars over the course of decades in attempting to isolate uranium-235 to make nuclear bombs and they’re still struggling in this endeavor. The West is doing everything they can to prevent them from reaching their goal, sure, but the point is it’s still the same tech necessary for any other element.


Lucy-what?! Who came up with that stupid name?

Loo-See-Tee-Ree-Ahh. Rhymes with cafeteria. Yeah, well, that’s what you get when two kids are goofing off.

The year was 2015 and my sister Seven and I were driving through a storm in Texas when out of the blue she wondered why not start a business? She said “I bet I can sell furniture made out of Lucite. I’ll call it, I don’t know, Luciteria!” {laughs] and I joined in “Ooh, I know, I can have my elements cast in blocks of Lucite”. And with that joke a few weeks later we nabbed luciteria.com and got to work. The furniture idea never panned out but as if by magic almost from day one the elements took off. By the end of that year the furniture was quietly deleted and left me to take over while she went on to other things. Within a year the website grew to be more or less what it’s like today. Without Seven’s original idea this company would never have been created. I owe it all to her!