Back in the Dark Ages before the internet, rubidium was pretty much the Holy Grail of an element collection. It wasn’t simply a matter of price - and it’s always been pricey - but that there just wasn’t anyone stocking this thing. You’d break out your ten pound phone book and call labs at random (“You mean rubies? You want rubies?”). Frustrated you might go to the library and look in this huge tome they called The Thomas Register, a sort of ancient paper Google of businesses, and look for any mention whatsoever of this elusive stuff only to leave hours later in tears and migraines. Yes, some uber-nerd in the chemistry department at a well-known university might refer you to an obscure lab in Siberia as a good bet but, deep down, you knew it would all end in disappointment.

Skip a generation or two and… well… things haven’t gotten much better. Even the search engines of well-stocked labs happily serve dozens of listings of its chlorides, carbonates, bromides…. but plain rubidium? Eh, who needs that? And that right there is the issue with this element. It has the triple kiss-of-death of being not only useless but also difficult to isolate and expensive as hell.

But we beg to differ on the useless count, damnit. It’s a gorgeous creamy white metal. Put this ampule in a bowl of hot water (carefully!!) then take it out and watch it melt and slosh around back and forth and soon rubidium ‘ice’ begins to form and before you know it it’s all turned solid. Then do it again.

It’s a great way to meet dates.